123010

lee.ivan.m@gmail.com

"endless" finally comes to an end.

122910

choices and decisions.

ability.

122310

it was just weird.

121910(2)

every time i come to korea, i feel like i become a new breed. more sophisticated. more challenged. more determined.

i suppose that is a good thing.

121910

His birth represents our new birth

ye

121610

i am starting to see life at a much bigger scale.

hide yourself.

121510

as i am taking a BREAK from LA, couple of things i have realized:

- i think im easy going in LA, but it gets worse here. maybe it's because im here for break.

- i eat a lot more. sucker for korean food.

- my skin gets better.

- i become a lot more dormant.

- my perspective on life becomes a lot more free flowing (it was already flowing in LA)

well that wasn't too informative.

lol

121310

i like korea.

haters

this society is all about proving.

proving that you are right.
proving that the other person is wrong.
proving that your decision was better.

all about proving.

even as christians, we go head to head. toe to toe with non believers.

celebrities are ALL about proving the haters wrong.
i can play ball
i can act
i am a faithful husband/wife
i am out of rehab

this world revolves around proving.

we are meant to be suspicious. its called a brain that never ceases to seek for the most optimal position. its natural.

i guess this year, as i look back, people, including myself had doubts about myself. my future, my Relationship, my life-style, my decisions. i definitely i dont blame. shoot im the forerunner.

the thing is. i dont want to waste time proving people wrong. i grew up thinking " oh man when im rich/powerful/influential imma prove all you haters wrong." and sometimes i still get that ( maybe not with money haha )

i only have one person to prove what i did here on Earth and that person(s) is not here. so whats the fuss?

imma Love

120310

we can definitely do a better job accepting

112910

i was here last year.

Just breathe

112410(2)

i miss tiananmen
i miss daoxiomian
i miss maidanglao
i miss nanjing
i miss longqingxia
i miss hutiaoxia
i miss zhongguo

112410

as the music fades... you get up

Kaleidoscope Heart

why are you so good

111910

Sailin Away

Free agency

a wise man (mydad) and another wise man (mybrother) were having a conversation regarding the free agency of last summer with big name stars moving teams for their best interest.

lets look into the word free agent. free players feel like they deserve the best. they want to be free.

but the ironic part to this is... they are not free. at the end you need someone to pick you. you are going to adhere to the team's salary. so at the end... free agent is not really a free.

this is how we are.
our mentality towards Christ MUST change.


we think we are free. but we are only free in HIM. you get it?

be free

Apocalypse

나의 종말

ashamed

보잘것없는 성전인 우리와 함께

하시기를 기뻐하시는 하나님, 비천한 모습으로

오신 우리 주 예수 그리스도를 부끄러워하는, 바로

우리 자신을 부끄러워해야 합니다.

110510

i feel great

110410

Maroon 5 - must get out

110210(2)

no repentance
no grace

110210

soul searching

103110(2)

a dear friend of mine always mentions this

"if you are able to rest well at night, that is the living testimony that you trust in Him about tomorrow."

word?

I pray haha

103110

you know what should REALLY keep you in check and pray with desperation and conviction

you wont even know you are being a Pharisee.

turning to a Pharisee is like Kobe getting the ball for the last-second shot.

it's so easy.

Oh how we need Thee

[no title]

admitting weakness due to a circumstance is not really saying you are weak.

do we really need to really smell and almost eat what we threw up in order to know that we are going to fall short with temporary things?

Grace must not be circumstantial.

102610

humanly love MUST be distinguished from the Divine Love

102510

i think its time to hibernate from blogging for sometime. ill think about it.

102410(2)

i cant believe i was in China a year ago

102410

what would be the body be without the soul

102310

we are so fat that we dont even know how fat we are.

how pathetic our spiritual state is.

oh Lord have mercy

102110

이적 사랑

01 아주 오래전 일
02 그대랑**
03 다툼
04 빨래
05 두통***
06 보조개*
07 매듭*
08 네가 없는*****
09 끝내 전하지 못한 말
10 이상해


this album is truly about love ( love as in Humanly love. nothing more. nothing less. the stuff we like )

for those who just like beats.. this would not be the album. you must be able to understand the lyrics. must be comfortable with advanced Korean terms.

102010

our life is complicatedly simple

101810

remember Christ.

even if you don't. He will.

우리는 미쁨이 없을 지라도 주는 항상 미쁘시니 자기를 부인하실 수 없으시리라

WHAT!?!?!?!

101710

today was another reminder that life MUST be lived out, carried out. an action that is proactive, interactive, and effective.

life is not something you get dragged by. i think those are the one God will say "boy, peace out. you aint for me."

today during service, the last song we sang had a lot to do with what i have been writing about(praying)

Open the blind eyes
Unlock the deaf ears
Come to your people
As we draw near

we are drawing near. have you thought about that? that is living testimony that the spirit dwells in us

life Must go on.

101510(2)

our generation must be able to see things with our hearts, not with our eyes.

we live in world that demands visualization, physically .

must see with your very own eyes for any sort of credential, any sort of trust and any sort of relationship.

God definitely gave us sight so that we may see, physically. yes, He did. however he gave us sight that we would ultimately see what is the unseen. He didnt give us a pair of eyes so that we may judge everything based on our dysfunctional eyes

i find myself having a hard time looking within the heart. we are bounded by the visual world when God calls us to supersede this world and to fix our eyes upon the Kingdom that is to come, in HIS time.

even in the chaotic world we live in today, there is order. order that is soon to come. that is why we need to prepare what is to come.

do you believe in it

101510

if you're cool, then im cool, then we're cool

101310(2)

dont you hate it that you are a nobody when you wan to be somebody.

you are somebody. you dont have to prove the world. when you accept that you are a nobody, then He makes you that somebody.

hard to accept huh
hard to say yes to it huh
hard to acknoweldge and go with His plan huh
hard to trust in that huh

lets pray for faith.
after all, we are nobody. its pretty normal for us to say NO to all these things. that why He makes it a Yes

101310

i figured out why China is so dear to me now: China changed my life.

101110(2)

i seriously want to live. in and out

101110

" To the angel of the church in Sardis write: These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead."

wow

im scared shizless

101010

life is slowly settling down

100410(2)

this entry might be somewhat legible for the readers.

today, i decided to go get subway for dinner and there i met two UCLA friends of mine. we were just talking how our lives have been occupied with this that... typical over the dinner table type of conversation.

the turning point of the story comes about when i felt academically challenged by my two friends. both of them are doing very well academically and they have a Great, i mean GREAT future ahead ( seriously, i wish those two the BEST. i really pray that their talents would not go to a waste but really be used in a way where its like maxing out when bench pressing. that type of max-out )

the moment i was challenged to do better in school really got to me: what am I doing with my life. of course the conversation just ended as " oh ivan, you do it differently " and true, i do it differently than others at UCLA. maybe TOO different.

growing up, and still up to this day, i believe people who question why and how arent really meant to succeed in this world. they think too much. they waste time by just thinking and not getting to the point.

i am DEFINITELY not saying my two friends are NOT thinkers ( i think they hella stress about their future, which indicates the level of brain work that goes into it. this blog entry has NOTHING to do with my two friends )

so i sit here, in my room thinking, "i think i go against the flow. many times. and i wonder if im really up for the challenge. not really taking the way people go about. always doing things differently with a rather quixotic manner.

i think my brain crashes way too many times. it is seriously a internal battle. two thoughts. going at each other. constantly, intensely.


how do i exercise the freedom that has been given? Oh Lord, you are the way

100410

when a camera first came out and when photographers were able to develop the film, people were afraid of pictures because they thought their souls were being captured as well.

when souls are involved, people tend to take it seriously. so how come that is not the case for our generation? why are we so obsessed with pictures, cameras, videos. why cant we imagine with our hearts. why cant we depend on the sensitivity of the heart?

i hate when blog posts become about myself. not a great feeling instantly but its like getting a surgery for the better future.

NOW, lets have some balance.

real , surreal.
seen , unseen

100310

where is my Aaron in life?

you dont know me, and i dont know you.

so maybe I should just stop.

092710

incompletely complete.

092510(2)

My days have been rather exciting. Filled with emotions. Input output. Where is my car when I need it. Is there a time for being stuck as well?

092510

if you dont know. say you dont. dont act like you do.

092110

do you know why He is amazing?
He tells you to do things are humanly impossible.

and when just about the frustration towards everything kicks in, He makes it possible?

How, we dont know, and will never know.

He tells us to open our eyes. How can we open our eyes? because He opened them.
Jesus calls us to do impossible things.
The difference between me and the pharisee should be very simple: i believe in the supernatural.

after all, adidas' slogan is very christian-like

Impossible is Nothing

091910

give us the humility that we concentrate on today and today only

091710

so i guess it starts again.


give me the strength till I get there
so let me stand, not just sit there

091510

i have no expectations for myself.

thank You G

091209

i definitely need to become a better man in Him

be Responsible
- academics
- finance
- a responsible brother to others

responsible
answerable or accountable, as for something within one's power, control, or management

lets not try to be accountable for something that is not within my power, control, or management.

091209

God provides a telescope

090910

last year this day would have been epic
090909

anyways, im just chilling at my brother's place ( he is at work right now )
and it sucks that our family is all over the place.

i want my parents/brother errbody to live together.

def not la, no oc

where can we go?

090710

try to live life without Him. you are effed.

090510

are you really weak?
or are you just saying it?

090210

tonight im meeting up with my friends from middle school (korea)
they just finished their military duty from korea and they are getting ready to go back to school.
just about 10 years ago we were all in the same path.
and now our paths look a lot different.

i guess its just a pure blessing being able to connect with these buddies.

: )

090110-1

zoom out

082910

following Him is like playing an arcade game that never ends: the moment you think its over, you are faced with a bigger challenge.

as i am actively seeking to be a son, i only face more difficulties, i see the things i lack, it is just too crazy. like a circus with no director leading it.

but i just dont see the director, JC who is keeping everything in check.

living life is like this: you have five dollars. that is ALL you have. this lottery cost 5 dollars. but you heard that if you win it, you can will billions of dollars. and you KNOW the combination to win the lottery. however, you need to BUY the ticket which costs EVERYTHING you have. are you going ALL OUT?

lets keep it real

082710

it is a good feeling being home
not worry about anything
just simply being home

as much as i love San Diego, Palmdale and Claremont
my home is where my dad,mom and brother is.

when will i feel like that when i think of the brothers and sisters in Christ?
long way to go.

082510

as i leave to korea, i cant help but think, "i travel and move around A LOT"

and it made me think about all those times i was on the road in China.

i really miss china.

082410

everything must be personal

082010

i wonder if Big J was ever just RAW
well that is impossible i guess.

I need a sandpaper in my life. someone. some events. some situations that are going to SHAPE me.

at the same time, His followers were ROUGH. like NFL rough. are we suppose to learn from their mistakes?

081810

let us seek you

081210

maybe i need some rest. physically.

080610

Rubbish

not to us

072910

keeping it real until that Day

063010

how great is our God

062710

sadogijhasdlkgjsadlkgjslkbmklamelkrmwlkrmlwke

thats how i feel right now

061310

today i visited a friend who is not here with us.
it has already been four years.
four years ago it seemed like the moement would never past. everything would be so fresh.

but look. it has already been 4 years.
time flies.
but the Truth remains. that's why i am still in the Game. because He is the Game

its been a year since i have blogged. thank you readers. i havent really posted blog posts that you guys can understand but the key to my blog is paying attention to the words. what they mean. and finding meaning in it. yeah? thanks

060710

impatience.

we are control freaks.
sometimes i really wonder why God gives us another day only to be disappointed by our meltdown.

Agape.

060710

today a brother in Christ confronted others.
he definitely had balls. mad respect.

there is no place for shame in God's Kingdom.
the more we try to save ourselves. we are only killing ourselves.

life is effin amazing
yea G. you are amazing

060510

confronting someone is a hard thing to do.

but before doing that, you need to confront yourself.
and that requires some balls

053010

God's Sovereignty...

lets not cheapen Grace.

ANOTHER WEEK
KILLER INSTINCT
LIVE
and
love

052810

freak.
my heart.

peace.

052510

if you want to be a leader, do it
dont PLAN on doing it.

051810

G
don't GIVE UP on your servant please.

he is trying. PLEASE
give him YOUR STRENGTH

051210

i want ears that hear
i want eyes that see
i want a heart that yearns

i want to hope. hopeful in the unseen

have mercy pa

051010

maybe times we forget how long the race is.

050610

life is honestly like a box of chocolate

050610

lets think about forgiveness

050510

God is running a Special Ed school for eternity.

that requires a lot of patience.

050510

listen

042810

we are retards.

When we pray we believe we receive
What we ask in His name
All things are possible
When we pray we tap into miraculous things
And victoriously we declare

That we know the prayers
Of the righteous availeth much
The prayers of the righteous prevail
Yes we know the prayers
Of the righteous prevail
His love never fails
The prayers of the righteous
Availeth much

When we pray we believe we receive
What we ask in His name
All things are possible
When we pray we tap into
Miraculous things
And victoriously we declare

We are victorious
We are we are

You are miraculous
You are You are

Israel & New Breed - Prayers of Righteous

Lord, teach us

042110

lets just live one more day. because He allows us to

turn you eyes upon...

042010

wrestling with God has been pretty tough

041810

and reconstruction begins

041710

깨졌다

041610

wake up Mr.West mr.west mr west... uhhhh yeaaa

041410

sustainability

041010

you know. what would Jesus do.

040910

living with freedom

032810

i think i did quite a lot of thinking this quarter.

maybe it is time to share.

032510

i love food.

and ive shared this with come people: breaking bread is huge ( aka grubbing with people ) we take eating together for granted and almost as if that eating together is given. NO. its like the most important thing of the day after His Kingdom and His Will.

its like the basis of fellowship. YOU EAT TOGETHER. and before you eat. YOU PRAY TOGETHER. and when you eat YOU SHARE TOGETHER. as simple as it sounds its some deep shiz into it. like its INTRICATE

i love food.
when i eat with people i have such an awesome time. i guess i like to talk too. but man when we share that together. its pretty amazing. last quarter i had the honor to get swipes from some sophomore sisters and brothers and every time a saw someone eating alone. i felt really bad. not because they are a "loser" or whatever but man it SUCKS TO EAT ALONE. it sucks real bad. YOU ARE PRETTY MUCH NOT SHARING LIFE.

i love praying for food. its like something i love to do. praying for the person in front of me. for his or her struggles. for his or her blessings. for his or her future. its just a fat ass goodie bag with unlimited supplies.

G, thank you for your Son that we may share and break bread. As we break, let us have be filled with YOU

022710

its pretty ridiculous.

compared to His glory and kingdom, our lives are SO insignificant. yet we are so unfaithful, yet we are so selfish, yet we are so caught up.

forgive me Father. let me love You though my Heart is fickle.
bring Revival.

021910

trust in the promises.

devote.devote. and devote

and most importantly, Love

020910

If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them.Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog returns to its vomit," and, "A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud."

020910

When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord.

010310

so today i experienced what viktor navorski went through. kinda. for like... a day.

instead of not having a country that is recognized, its the weather that kept me in the airport.

snow storm in CHINA

interesting fact: tomo there is a snow storm in KOREA.

so who knows when im going to leave korea?

tomorrow, i give another try. where is my Amelia? haha